Hi so it's been 5 years
It's crazy to look back on this time in my life.
2011 Brittany hasn't seen the things I've seen.
She hasn't seen her weight loss, the new way she moves in the mirror in her show choir, the look of admiration from her peers. She hasn't seen the wild nights, running around a small town and enjoying the company of different groups of friends, switching fast between a number of them. She hasn't snuck out to meet a strange boy at 3am or to go to Rocky Horror or to kiss her first girl in a game of Truth or Dare. She hasn't lied to her parents and paraded around the town by foot, braving the cold in exchange for sweet freedom with the two people she loves most in the world. She hasn't seen the exuberant faces of the ones she holds so dear to her heart, the big wide smiles and wild laughs of the ones that truly impacted her. She hasn't taken the risk and hit the road in secret to see a concert far away. She hasn't loved a person so much that her heart breaks at the thoughts of living without them. But it did break, she'll see. She hasn't witnessed her friends actively run away from her. She was the fat sweet girl in school, the one no one cared about, until she wasn't anymore and grabbed attention and people cared and friendships felt more like family. She hasn't witnessed that very family die. She hasn't witnessed the crippling depression, the feeling of helplessness as her body feels as though it's taken over, being deeply afraid, so very afraid of dying but so afraid of living like that anymore. She hasn't witnessed the night her first college suitemate tried to kill herself. She hasn't witnessed college in general. The feeling of running around downtown with new people to call family, of beginning to repair with some help from alcohol and the love of those who choose to be around. Late nights in the nature preserve, true freedom, singing so loudly that you make an echo across campus, lying in the snow and staring up at the stars and just figuring it all out. Figuring out what's important, finding out who you are and who you were and how that's maybe connected somehow in this big life story. Connecting with people and loving them time after time and having really genuine and sweet and exuberant moments once again. Falling in love with a girl you never thought you would, being in a really great and interesting relationship with someone who inspires you.
2011 Brittany hasn't met the people I've met.
Megan, Priyanka, Becky, Minsung, Ye Eun, Sam, Gabriel, Denny, Howie, Kelin, Emily, Ashley, Kristen, Christopher, Stevie, Sambrit, Ryan, Allyson, Sarah, Carissa, Erin, Alex, Jessica, Ken, Andrew, Janice, Liang, Sydney, Ashif, Annie, Rachael, other Annie, other Rachel
...all unknown to her